Title:  the “ly” song

Composer:  Tom Lehrer

Lead vocals:  Tom Lehrer

Backing vocals:  none

Scene:  Cartoon with a man faced with many awkward situations.

[TL]  You’re wearing your squeaky shoes,

And right there taking a snooze

Is a tiger.  So how do you walk on by?

Silently.  Silently.  Silent, l, y.

You’re a secret agent man

Who’s after the secret plan.

How do you act so they don’t know you’re a spy?

Normally.  Normally.  Normal, l, y.

At an eating contest you boast

That you can eat the most.

How do you down your fiftieth piece of pie?

Eagerly, unh.  Eagerly, yeah.  Eager, l, y.

On the lake your boat upset,

And your clothes got soaking wet.

How do you stand and wait for them to dry?

Dih-dih-dih-dih-dih-dih patiently.  Dih-dih-dih-dih-dih-dih patiently.  Dih-dih-dih-dih-dih-dih patient, l, y.

In the public library,

You fall and hurt your knee.

But the sign says “quiet, please”, so how can you cry?

Quietly.  Quietly.  Quiet, l, y.

As you walk along the street,

A porcupine you meet.

How do you shake his hand when he says hi?

Uh, carefully.  Carefully.  Careful, l, y.

You enter a very dark room,

And sitting there in the gloom

Is Dracula.  Now how do you say goodbye?

Immediately.  Immediately.  Immediate, l, y.

Bye-bye!

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