Title:  there’s nothing quite as quiet as a clam

Official title:  the clam song

Composer:  Joe Raposo / Tom Dunsmuir

Lead vocals:  Skip Hinnant

Backing vocals:  none

Scene:  (From the TEC album.)

[SH]  Oh, there’s nothing quite as quiet as a clam.

No, there’s nothing quite as quiet as a clam.

I am one of life’s true joys,

‘Cause I don’t make any noise.

There is nothing quite as quiet as a clam.

Have you ever heard a clam go, “Clang, clang, clang”?

No, you’ve never heard a clam go, “Clang, clang, clang.”

And imagine how you’d feel,

Just imagine what you’d think,

If, instead of keeping quiet, I went, “Clink, clink, clink!”

No, there’s nothing quite as quiet as a clam.

No, there’s nothing quite as quiet as a clam.

I’m as silent as can be.

You will hear no noise from me.

There is nothing quite as quiet as a clam.

Have you ever heard a clam go, “Clink, clank, clunk”?

No!  You’ve never heard a clam go, “Clink, clank, clunk.”

And imagine your misfortune,

Just imagine your bad luck,

If, instead of keeping quiet, I went, “Cluck, cluck, cluck!”

Oh, there’s nothing quite as quiet as a clam.

No, nothing quite as quiet as a clam.

Strictly silent I can keep,

And I never make a peep.

There is nothing quite as quiet as a clam.

No, ma’am!

There is nothing quite as quiet as a clam.

Click here to return to the archive.